What Is The Appropriate Action To Take When Approaching

Okay, let's talk about approaching someone. You see them. Maybe at a coffee shop. Maybe at a dog park. Maybe just, you know, existing in the same space as you.

And then, the question. What do you do?

I have...an opinion. It might be unpopular. Buckle up.

The Standard Advice (Yawn)

We've all heard it. "Be confident!" "Make eye contact!" "Have an opening line ready!"

Sounds exhausting, right? Like you're auditioning for a sitcom guest spot.

Honestly, all that "strategy" feels…calculated. And people can smell calculated.

The Problem With "Hi, I'm [Name], and I [Compliment]"

That opening line? The "Hi, I like your shoes" one? Overdone.

It's like showing up to a potluck with store-bought cookies. Functional, but not exactly inspiring.

And, let's be real, sometimes the compliment just feels…awkward. Especially if you’re complimenting their eyebrows.

My Unpopular Opinion (Brace Yourselves)

Here it comes. Prepare for controversy.

My advice? Don't approach.

Yep. You read that correctly. Just…don't.

Hear Me Out!

I'm not saying never talk to anyone ever again. That's a bit dramatic.

What I am saying is that sometimes, the best approach is…no approach.

Let things happen organically. Embrace the art of not forcing a connection.

Embrace the Shared Context

Instead of a direct approach, focus on the shared environment. The coffee shop, the dog park, the apocalypse-themed yoga class.

Find a reason to interact that's genuine and related to the context. Not some manufactured pickup line.

For example, at the dog park, ask about their dog. That’s it.

Alternatives to the Direct Approach

So, what do you do instead of marching up and launching into a pre-rehearsed monologue?

Here are some ideas.

• Casual Observation: Just...observe. Get a feel for their vibe. Are they even open to interacting? Maybe they're engrossed in a book about quantum physics and clearly don't want to be bothered.
• Nonverbal Communication: Smile. Make eye contact (briefly! No staring!). These subtle cues can signal your interest without being aggressive. A gentle nod can work wonders.
• The "Accidental" Encounter: "Oops, sorry, didn't see you there!" This only works if it's actually accidental. Don't stage a dramatic fall involving a rogue banana peel. That's just weird.

Why This Works (I Think)

By not forcing things, you create space for a natural connection.

If they're interested, they'll likely reciprocate the smile, or even initiate a conversation.

And if they don't? No harm, no foul. You haven't risked rejection with some elaborate, cringe-worthy approach.

The Exception to the Rule

Okay, okay, there's one exception. If you have a legitimate, urgent reason to approach them.

Like, if their car alarm is going off. Or they're about to walk into oncoming traffic. Or they dropped their winning lottery ticket.

In those cases, feel free to break the "no approach" rule. But lead with the important information, not a compliment on their lottery-ticket-dropping skills.

Ultimately, It's About Respect

Really, all this boils down to respecting other people's space and autonomy.

Assuming someone automatically owes you their time or attention is...not a great look.

So, maybe, just maybe, consider embracing the art of not approaching. It might just surprise you how well it works.

Or not. But at least you saved yourself from some potentially awkward small talk.

You're welcome.

And hey, if all else fails, blame me. I'm used to it.