What Day Was It 90 Days Ago

Okay, so you're staring blankly into space, wondering what day of the week it was exactly 90 days ago. Been there, done that. Usually happens when I'm trying to remember if I told my aunt Mildred I'd help her move her prized collection of porcelain thimbles (shudder) before or after that awkward llama yoga class. The mind, it wanders!

Don't worry, we're not going to pull out some ancient astronomical calendar or require you to become a human calculator. Ain't nobody got time for that. Instead, let's embark on a thrilling (and only slightly exaggerated) quest to determine that fateful day.

The (Relatively) Simple Method

First things first, let's acknowledge the obvious: counting 90 days backward on your fingers is a terrible idea. You'll get lost somewhere around day 17, start questioning your sanity, and probably end up accidentally texting your ex. Trust me, I've been there. It involved glitter glue and a very confused parrot. Let's just say things escalated.

The easiest way? Your trusty friend, the internet! There are about a gazillion "date calculator" websites just waiting to answer this burning question. Just type in today's date and ask it to subtract 90 days. Boom. Instant gratification. Like finding a twenty-dollar bill in your old jeans…except instead of twenty dollars, you get the knowledge of knowing what day of the week it was 90 days ago. Equally exciting, right?

But wait! What if the internet apocalypse happens? What if the squirrels finally succeed in cutting all the fiber optic cables? (They're plotting, I tell you!) That’s when knowing a little trick or two can come in handy.

The Calendar Chunking Technique (Sounds Fancy, Isn't)

Here’s a slightly less-lazy approach, perfect for impressing your friends at parties (or at least mildly amusing them). We're going to break the 90 days into manageable chunks. Think of it as the culinary equivalent of chopping up a gigantic meatball into bite-sized pieces. Much less intimidating!

Let’s assume today is July 26th, 2024 (because, why not?). Ninety days is roughly three months, right? So, roughly speaking, we're aiming for late April. That gives us a ballpark. It’s like using a telescope… but instead of stars, you're looking for a specific Tuesday. Or was it a Wednesday…?

Okay, more precisely: April has 30 days, May has 31, and June has 30. That's 91 days. Close enough for jazz! So, we are shooting for some time around late April. By looking at the calendar, you can easily see that 90 days prior to July 26th, 2024 was indeed April 27th, 2024, a Saturday. Ta-da! You've done it!

Was it difficult? Maybe a little. But hey, you learned something! Plus, you successfully avoided any squirrel-induced internet outages. A win-win scenario, I'd say.

Why Even Bother?

Now, you might be wondering, "Why on earth would I need to know what day it was 90 days ago?" Well, I can think of several perfectly valid reasons. Perhaps you're trying to reconstruct your alibi for a crime you totally didn't commit (I'm kidding…mostly). Or maybe you're trying to figure out when that questionable sushi you ate started its journey across the Pacific Ocean (shudders again).

Or maybe, just maybe, you're simply curious. And curiosity, my friend, is the spice of life. It’s what separates us from the houseplants (though some houseplants are surprisingly judgmental, I've noticed). So go forth, armed with your newfound knowledge, and impress the world with your ability to calculate past days. You’ll be the life of the party, I promise! (Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee you'll be the life of the party. Results may vary. Side effects may include excessive calendar gazing and an insatiable desire to know what day it was 180 days ago.)

And if all else fails, just blame the squirrels. It's always a safe bet.