Mount Vernon Flats At The Perimeter

Okay, Hear Me Out About Mount Vernon Flats...

Let's talk Mount Vernon Flats. You know, those apartments by the Perimeter? They're…a thing. Everyone seems to have an opinion, and I’m about to throw mine into the ring. And honestly? It might be a little…unpopular.

Picture this: you’re cruising down 285. BAM! There they are. Looking…well, they’re there, aren't they? They're definitely apartments. And they're definitely near the Perimeter. No argument there.

Now, people rave about the location. "So convenient!" they cry. And yes, being close to everything is great. I get it. But convenient to what, exactly? Endless traffic and enough chain restaurants to make your head spin?

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a good Olive Garden breadstick basket as much as the next person. But is that really the pinnacle of suburban living? Is that what we're striving for?

And the amenities! Oh, the amenities. Pools! Gyms! Dog parks shaped like fire hydrants! Listen, I appreciate a nice amenity as much as the next millennial trying to avoid actual responsibility. But do we really need a rock climbing wall next to the tanning salon? Are we preparing for the apocalypse in between spray tans?

I suspect some of us are paying extra for the “illusion” of luxury. Like, “Look at me! I live in a fancy apartment complex with a putting green! I’m practically living the high life!” Meanwhile, you're battling for a parking spot every night and pretending you can hear your neighbor’s Netflix through the wall.

Speaking of neighbors…apartment living can be, shall we say, interesting. You're basically living in a giant, multi-story dorm. You never know what's going to happen. Will someone throw a raging party on a Tuesday night? Will the smell of burnt popcorn permanently permeate the hallway? It's a gamble, people. A gamble.

I'm not saying Mount Vernon Flats is a bad place to live. I'm just saying… maybe we should all take a deep breath and consider our options. Is it really worth paying extra for a “convenient” location that's mostly convenient to gridlock?

"But the proximity to Ponce City Market!" someone inevitably argues. Okay, valid point. Ponce City Market is awesome. But let's be honest, you're probably just going there to take Instagram pictures and spend $15 on artisanal toast. No judgment, I've done it too. But still.

And the rent! Oh, the rent is TOO DAMN HIGH. Seriously, you could probably buy a small island in the Pacific for the price of a two-bedroom apartment there. Okay, maybe not a whole island. But definitely a really nice kayak. A really, really nice kayak.

Maybe, just maybe, there are other places in the metro area that offer a little more space, a little more peace, and a little less…everything. Maybe we should venture beyond the Perimeter and discover the joys of, I don't know, having a yard? Or being able to hear birds chirping instead of the constant drone of traffic?

This isn’t a slam on everyone who lives in Mount Vernon Flats. You do you! If you love it, great! But maybe, just maybe, it’s time we questioned the hype. Maybe it’s time we admitted that living in a concrete jungle next to a major highway isn't always the dream we thought it would be.

So, yeah. That's my unpopular opinion. Mount Vernon Flats? Overrated. Fight me in the comments. (But please, be gentle. I bruise easily.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go daydream about owning that kayak.