Chemicals Needed To Close Above Ground Pool

Alright, listen up! It's that time of year again. Time to say goodbye to sunshine and cannonballs... and hello to the dreaded pool closing.

Now, everyone talks about the chemicals. Oodles of them! But let’s be real.

The "Chemicals" Situation: My Unpopular Opinion

Here's my controversial take. You really only need, like…two. Maybe one and a half. Don’t @ me.

First, the big one. The star of the show. The one you absolutely, positively CANNOT skip. I'm talking about pool shock. Yep, that's the stuff. The chlorine grenade you toss in before the cover goes on. Think of it as sending all the microscopic party crashers packing. "You're not invited to my winter slumber party, algae!"

People will tell you it needs to be non-chlorine shock. Or calcium hypochlorite shock. Or dihydrogen monoxide-infused shock... okay, I made that last one up. The point is, SHOCK. Get some. Any kind. Seriously.

Then, that's it. I'm done with that part. Next, let's move on to the pool cover. I know, I know, some people will say I’m crazy. But hear me out!

The Optional Extra: Algaecide (Maybe)

Okay, okay, fine. If you really, REALLY insist on having a second chemical, then grab some algaecide. But only if you're a worrier. Think of it as pool insurance. An extra layer of protection against the dreaded green monster that might try to take over your pool while it's snoozing through winter.

But let’s be honest. If your water was relatively clean when you closed it, and you shocked it good, that algaecide is probably just going to be sitting there. Contemplating its existence. Like that last slice of pizza in the box.

If the water was a murky swamp to begin with? Well, then no amount of algaecide is going to save you. You’re better off draining and scrubbing in the spring. Seriously.

So, algaecide: optional. Kind of like those weird little umbrellas people put in their cocktails.

What About All The Other Stuff?

Prepare yourself. Here comes the stuff that I think is not only unnecessary, but even ludicrous: all the other "winterizing" chemicals. Oh, the bottles they try to sell you!

“Scale preventer!” Unless you're using your pool as a limestone quarry, you’re probably fine.

“Metal sequestrant!” Unless you’re melting down old car batteries in your pool (please don’t), you probably don’t need this.

“Phosphate remover!” Unless you're bathing in fertilizer… okay, I’m sensing a theme here. The marketing folks are preying on our fears!

They're essentially selling you overpriced placebos. Liquid snake oil for your swimming pool. Don't fall for it!

My grandmother always said, "A little shock and a good cover, that's all you need, dearie." And she was a woman who knew her way around a above ground pool.

Of course, this is just my humble (and slightly sarcastic) opinion. Your mileage may vary. Your pool might be a chemical-sensitive drama queen. Who knows?

The Real Secret to Pool Closing Success

The real secret to a successful pool closing? Draining the water a little bit. Get it below the skimmer. Then, cover it properly. And maybe, just maybe, say a little prayer to the pool gods.

And next spring? You'll either have a sparkling clean pool, or… well, you’ll have a learning experience. And a good excuse to buy a new pool vacuum.

Either way, you’ll survive. And you'll have saved a whole bunch of money on unnecessary chemicals. Go buy yourself a pizza with all that extra cash!

Remember, people, keep it simple. Keep it cheap. And keep on swimming (next year, of course!).

Happy closing!